And It's Back to School We Go...
Starting school is a transition, and whether your child is starting preschool, first grade, middle school, or any new grade, transitions can be difficult. Transitions are still hard for me, and I’m a full grown adult with a full bag of coping skills at my disposal!
We manage transitions by talking about them.
Talking about starting school means giving your child the information about the process. Talk about the Who, What, When, and Where. Parents often take for granted that their children know what day they’ll start school, how long the school day is, what they’ll wear, what they’ll eat, how they’ll get home, etc. If your child has the information about the transition, it can help take some of the uncertainty out of a new start. In my adult brain, this is the equivalent of me driving to a new place for the first time: if a friend tells me about the tricky side entrance, and the parking situation, those are two factors I don’t have to stress out about.
Sometimes, a sit down with all the information you’ll need is overwhelming. Bringing up little snippets of information a little at a time might work better for your child. This can sound like, “Oh, remember that new backpack we bought with the foxes on it? We’re going to pack it up with your school supplies and bring it in on Tuesday.” Or, over dinner, saying something like, “the bus is coming every morning at 7:30. I’m going to walk you to the corner and wait with you every morning.”
Finally, talk about feelings. Normalize any emotions your child might have. Remember that it’s okay for a child to feel however they’re feeling, and that emotions fade over time. To normalize feelings, try some of these tips:
Talk about your feelings from back in the day (“I remember being SO nervous the night before high school - I don’t think I slept at all”)
Do an emotion check in. “You know a lot of kids have strong feelings before they start school - is there anything you’re feeling that you want to talk about?”
Avoid telling your child what NOT to feel. Instead of, “you have nothing to be worried about,” and instead try “It’s okay to feel worried, and I know you got this.”
Read a book! Books can help open kids to their own emotions. Check out some suggestions below (and let me know your favorites!